Before She Left
by Lily1986
Summary: Before Tris left Tobias, they shared a special night together.


Promises were made to be broken.

I realize this as I let Tobias gently lay me on his bed. I should be familiar with this mattress because I've slept here before. But this time is different. We both know it. And we both want this. But mostly, I _need_ this. I know I may never see him again, never have this again. But he doesn't know that and for a moment my heart completely shatters. I pull away from him and turn my face.

"What's wrong?" he asks almost out of breath. "You don't want to-"

"I do." I answer. "I want this more than anything."

He lets himself smile. Because he truly believes that I'll still be here in the morning. And then I wonder how that'll make him feel after tonight.

"I love you, Tris." He whispers before kissing me again roughly.

I moan into his mouth. He's never kissed me like this before. We've come close but always flirted with that line, the boundary set by our society. Wrapping my arms around him, I pull him closer to me. His kisses are hungry and I match his feverous pace. Spreading my legs open I cradle his body at my center and for the first time I can feel him. All of him.

With some help, I get his black shirt off. I knew he was fit. I'd felt it before. I'd even seen it. But being this close to the contours of his body I can notice the definition on his hard chest. I let my hand trail his skin and watch in fascination as goose bumps rise below my finger tips. He shudders above me.

"Your hand is cold." He mumbles.

I look up into his eyes and pull him down toward me kissing him long and hard. I want him.

My hands travel to the button of his jeans before pulling down his zipper. I gasp when I feel his groin jump at my subtle touch.

"Sorry…" he mutters above me.

I keep my eyes locked on his as I cup him in my hand. I'm not exactly sure what to do to make him feel good but I figure he'll tell me if I'm doing something wrong. I squeeze softly and his eyes close instantly. He's breathing through his mouth and I squeeze again.

"Tris… wait…" he stops me putting his hand over mine. "Go slow or I won't last."

I nod. "Am I doing it right?"

"Yeah…." He moans in my ear before putting his hand inside and pulling himself out.

I trail my finger up his shaft slowly in awe.

"It's my first time." I remind him.

"I know…" he nods. "Mine too."

And then it makes sense. Of course it is. He came from Abnegation. And in Dauntless he hasn't allowed himself to get close to anyone. Except me.

I wrap my small hand around his firm member. "What do I do?"

He puts his hand over mine and shows me a pumping motion. "Just go slow…"

I nod and follow his example. Before long I feel him twitching in my hand and his panting in my ear.

"Tris… stop…" he says softly. "I definitely won't last if you keep that up…"

I smile. It feels good to have so much power over him. He adjusts himself over me and lifts my blouse over my head. I've never had to wear undergarments. I've always been relatively small. I've never felt so insecure about that until now.

"You're beautiful…" he whispers before lowering his head to my right breast. I gasp as he swirls his tongue around the nipple and moan when he begins to massage my left side. My hands instantly find his hair if only for something to hold on to. He licks his way to my left side to give it the same attention before trailing his tongue down my body toward my belly button swirling it as he did before. When his hands touch the button of my jeans, I know this is it. There is no going back now. It's now or never. And I can't wait to get my pants off. He slides one pant leg down at a time before focusing on my underwear. I bite my lip and lift my hips to help him. My underwear soon joins my pants on the floor next to the bed.

He looks up from between my legs with a mischievous smile that makes my heart skip a beat.

"I want to try something…" he mutters before lowering his head back to my center. I feel confusion and then suddenly a sensation I've never felt before when I feel his tongue lick my center. It's slow at first but soon he adds speed and pressure and I'm trashing on the bed above him. He holds my thighs to keep me in place and I gasp feeling more alive than I ever have. The feeling bubbling in the pit of my stomach is unlike anything I've ever felt before and then I feel my release. But he doesn't stop his ministrations. He drinks all the juices that come out of me hungrily. He's like a man in a dessert thirsty for his first drink of water in months. I let my head fall back against the pillow as he cleans me up in the most primal way.

He trails himself up my body again and is laying over me. He grins sheepishly. "How was that?"

I pull him down for a kiss and my insides burst when I taste something salty on his tongue and realize it's me. Our tongues duel for dominance like only two Dauntless would. He pushes off his pants and boxers at the same time and positions himself at my entrance.

"Are you ready?"

I nod. I'm not ready. One is never truly ready for this. But I want nothing more than to feel him inside me. I want that intimate connection to him. Especially if this is our last night together. He eases himself into me and I close my eyes tightly in pain.

"Am I hurting you?" he stops half way.

I shake my head. "Don't stop…"

He eases in again, even slower than before and once he's fully inside, we both sigh in relief.

"Tobias…" I mumble.

He looks down at me, pushing my hair back. "I need to move, Tris… but only when you're ready."

"I'm ready." I lie. What's another fib to add to the list?

He begins to move inside me slowly and very cautiously. I hold on to his shoulders because I need something to anchor me to this world. I throw my head back as the same sensation and pressure builds from before. I can feel him completely inside of me. He is twitching and I somehow know he is close. And so am I. I try to hold my release until he has found his. It doesn't take him long to find it. Soon he is groaning in my ear and I feel one last twitch before warm liquid shoots inside me and I let myself go at the same time.

I exhale.

Tobias pulls himself out and lies behind me, wrapping an arm over me to pull me closer. I can still feel him semi-hardened behind me and wonder if I wasn't leaving would we be doing this again in a few hours.

"I just…" he yawns behind me. "Need some sleep."

"Okay…" I nod. "Get some rest."

But he's already starting to fall asleep. His arms never loosen their grip. I almost wonder if on some level he knows what I'm about to do.

"I'm so sorry…" I whisper into the darkness but he's already too far gone to hear me.


End file.
